Contest and Free Stuff

This is my ninety-fourth post. What does that mean? It means I'm approaching 100, and my 100th post will fall on December 23, 2010. What does that mean for you? It means prizes. Think of it as Christmas presents from me to you. What kind of presents? Since I'm a poor aspiring writer--books. Well, to be completely accurate, one $15.00 Barnes and Noble Gift Certificate, one authentic, hand-drawn facsimile of a Barnes and Nobel gift certificate(non negotiable, but really cool), and a twenty-five page critique of your own fabulous novel. What else did you expect from a writer?

Here are the rules:

The contest opens now and runs until midnight the 22nd.

You enter by spreading the word about my blog. You know the drill, tweet about it, Facebook it, yell it from the roof tops. Then post a comment telling me you did your duty. You get one point for every social media blurb, just leave me a link so I can check up on you (like Santa seeing if you've been naughty or nice).

You get one point if you become a follower and leave a comment.

You get two points for loyalty if you are already a follower and leave a comment.

You also get a point if you add up your points so I don't have to do math.

Each point equals one slip of paper with your name on it. The slips will all be tossed in a bowl like green salad and then eaten. Oh wait, Kid D will choose three lucky winners, and I'll announce them on the 23rd.

Also, if you don't happen to be a writer and don't have twenty-five pages you want critiqued, you can opt out of that prize or gift it to a writing buddy. Just let me know in your comment if you don't want to be included for that prize. (Crazy talk, I know.)

Anywho, thanks for making my blog a fun place to visit! Let the contest begin! Merry Christmas. :)

The Sun Is Fire and Did Someone Say Free Book?

Yes, the sun is fire. My six-year-old told me so. This morning she sprawled on the carpet in a patch of sunlight and said, "Doesn't the sun feel good?"

To which, as a sun-lover, I replied, "Yes. It's delicious!"

She sat up and stared at me. It was not an attractive stare. I think it's intended effect was to help poor Mom realize how dense she was. It almost worked, but I held out because I'm strong and am immune to this kind of mental warfare.

When I didn't retract my statement in shame, she said, "How can it be delicious? You can't even eat it."

Now, perhaps I should have been proud of her for her logical analysis, but I wasn't. My thought was, At what point do children begin to understand literary devices? How can my own daughter not realize I was expressing myself with verbal creativity? What have I done wrong?

I then reminded myself she was six, and it would probably all work out right in the end--until she went on to explain about the sun. It is fire. She said so. You can't eat fire or you will die. Again, I know this because of her fine scientific lecture on the properties of the sun. It is also far away. Farther even than California, and that is far. She knows because it took two eternal days of driving to get there. It is also too big to eat, even though I have a big mouth.

"So the sun can't be delicious." She folded her arms and did the little head jiggle thing to prove her superior knowledge.

I smiled, winked at her, and said, "Yes. Yes it is. More delicious even than sleeping in."

She just stared at me and shook her head. Clearly, I can't be taught.

I have a hankering to give away a book. How about, Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick?

Yes, for free. To you guys. Well, not all of you, just one of you. There are several ways to enter this fabulous contest. You can A: Become a fantastic, beloved follower of my blog.

OR, B: Post a link to my blog on facebook, twitter, or another social networking site, then post a comment here telling me you have done this great deed. In fact for option B I will give you two entries, because I'm just that nice. AND If you provide a link to your link so I can check and see if you are telling the truth, I will give you three entries.

OR, for the great peeps who are already followers, option 3: (Which is different than option C) Post a comment telling me you posted a link for my blog on facebook, twitter, or some other social networking site. Which is pretty much the same thing as option B, but listed separately to make you feel special. Is it working?

If you do all three, I'll give you a entry for each.

I'll put all the names in a giant pot, stir them twelve times, then have my six-year-old pick the winner. The name of the lucky person will appear on next Tuesday's blog post. Good luck.