Thursday, September 3, 2009

What do a three year old, a small bucket, twenty five pounds of cat food, and one rather large litter box have in common?

This question could be answered in a number of ways, all of them horrific. In this case they combined to render my basement into the worlds most disgusting sand box. Let me explain.

Today, the 3rd of September, will go down in the annuls of history in infamy. Today, I babysat my angelic neighbor. He is cute, cuddly, and will be referred to from here on as, "the culprit", or "the toddler of terror". (But seriously, I love him! Even if I gave him such dastardly nicknames.)

Some time ago, I took a break in the restroom, unaccompanied. (Women, despite popular opinion do like to go alone!) In the short five minutes I was otherwise occupied "the culprit" decided his toys and movie were boring, and that he could do better with what he had on hand. What did he have one hand? Well, a small bucket, twenty five pounds of cat food, and a rather large litter box.

If you have never had a three year old, you might not comprehend how much damage they can do in five minutes. Trust me, they work FAST! When I came down the stairs to check on "the toddler of terror" I screamed.

I would put it in quotes for you, but for some reason, "EEEEK!" or, "AAAHGHGHGH!", or even, "*&^#&*@*#!!!!," doesn't quite cover it. So we'll leave it as, I screamed.

There, spread across every inch of my basement, was the ENTIRE contents of the the twenty five pound bag of cat food, and the ENTIRE contents of the rather large litter box (smelly portions included!!!!). "The culprit" grinned over his handiwork and ran to find more.

I think I screamed again. I'm not sure, but it is probable. I put "the culprit" in time out and began cleaning. How do you Clorox carpet? Yikes. And do you want to know the saddest part of this whole thing? I've done it all before--with my own kids. More than once. Now do you see why I really want a house elf?


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