Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Herald of Doom

I found a white hair. Just one. Nestled in amongst the brown ones. At first I thought, No, it can't be. It's a trick of the light. I'm still young. I'm vibrant. I'm only th--

Well,*clears throat* never mind how old I am, just know it's not ancient. (At least I didn't feel ancient until I found the impostor hair.)

I yanked it out.

It deserved to die for bringing me the silvery message of approaching age. I stared at it as the whole world paused. Really it did--for about seven-point-three seconds. Then it screeched back into motion, faster than ever. If you've been feeling dizzy, that's why. The world sped up. All because of one white hair heralding the coming end. My end. I'm going to age like a time lapse photo. Wrinkles will flow down my face like melting wax, age spots will bloom on my skin like mutant tattoos, and a walker will materialize next to my bed some morning. And, I'll develop a sudden inexplicable liking for polka music.

Yup that's my future. Wrinkles, spots, assisted walking devices, and polka. Shudder.

I showed my hubby the monster hair. He said I was a bit wacked and obsessed. I mean, all I did was stare at it for extended periods of time and bewail my lost youth. At least I did, until he threw it away and told me to get over it. Can you imagine? Seriously. He's the one who threw away my hair. I mean, who throws away good hair? I'm aging. I might need that back for a wig.

All right, hubby didn't tell me to get over it. He said his own gray hairs didn't bother him because he knew I loved him anyway. So why should mine bug me? He loved me no matter what color my hair turned.

Sheesh. Sniffle. What a way to ruin a girl's old age rant. Yup, he's a keeper. The white hair wasn't. But, I'm going to call my sister and schedule a coloring just to be on the safe side.


Mary Campbell said...

I hate gray hairs - I'm getting more and more. I didn't expect it to bother me so much, but it does. I don't think of myself as old, but the grays are telling me something else - hate it, but my hubby loves me anyway too.

Jonene Ficklin said...

Isn't it interesting how gray hair arrives just about the time your first child begins driving?

Irene B. Gardner said...

Ohhhh, you poor thing! It can't be happening to you. You're just a young pup. Now that you've lost the evidence, is it still true???

Wait until the gray beasts appear lower on the anatomy. Giggle. Those are the real freak out times. Don't worry it only gets better from here -- NOT.

Did you notice I've let my hair go au natural? But then, I'm just a few years older than you. In a pig's eye.


L.T. Elliot said...

This recently happened to me and I had a mini-freak out, made a hair-appointment, and called the hubby for reassurance. *hugs* I hear you.

p.s. Been thinking about you a lot today. Just thought you should know.

LeishaMaw said...

Mary, I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt upset. It's a good thing our hubbys love us.

Jonene, so that's what's causing this. Down with teenage drivers.

Irene, bless you for thinking I'm a young pup. Hugs. And yes, I did notice your hair color. It looks good on you.

L.T., thanks for validating my mini feak out. I've been thinking about you and missing everyone from WIFYR. We should get together and do lunch or something.

Matt M said...

Assistive walking devices aren't that bad. They are a bit like sprinklers though, but at least the grass doesn't turn brown when they quit working. Maybe you could get a backup sprinkler system for when your primary system breaks down and it takes the insurance ccompany a month and a half to authorize the repair.

LeishaMaw said...

Matt, did yours break down, too? That really stinks. Thanks for your comment. LOL. ;)


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