Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Netherworld.

I have a great sense of smell. It is my divining rod in a world of taste, sights, and scents. When I walk into a room my nose goes ahead of me, scouting out the path, searching for trouble, identifying everything. Usually this is a good thing. Think of how enjoyable it is to enter a room with hot apple pie sending tendrils out to tickle my nose and excite my taste buds. But then there is the Netherworld.

My hubby took me there. It was awful. We barely made it out alive.

I have always read that the Netherworld is down under-way down under. And hot. You know, flames of hell and all that stuff: fire, brimstone, sulphur, a guy with horns and a pitchfork, screaming sinners.

Well it's a lie. It isn't like that. I know, I've been there, and it's closer than you think. You can drive there. And it's busy. The Netherworld is located at the town dump. My skin is crawling just remembering. Shudder.

Even garbage doesn't deserve to go to such a stinky place.

I am usually a brave person. I mean, I stuck my hand down a ripe toilet after all, but I had to draw a line in the oozing muck. I wouldn't get out of the van. I sat there, curled into the fetal position, wailing about the smell as it lashed out and struck me again, and again.

I'm still dazed.

Did you know that not only do people pay to go there, they work there. On purpose. Talk about brave! They show up every day in their soiled coveralls and grin big toothy grins as you drive through the gates.

And did you know people live by the dump? Seriously! There are houses next door! Do they all own hazmat suits? How can they eat when everything smells like rotten swine mingled with burnt metal and boiled glop? I think you'd have to de-nose me.

The next time my hubby wants to go to the dump, he's on his own. I served my time. The whole thirty-two minutes. And I'm not going back.


Blake said...

LOL, you are misled. There is no such thing as smell. Your nose is for breathing only. The dump air is the same as air at a fancy bakery. Don't let your brain fool you.

The Stanley's said...

It really is sick. I went there once. I think the people that work there should get paid more money.

LeishaMaw said...

Blake, you are confused, not my brain. Besides, not all of us can be as forgiving to the dump air. It was foul!

Anita, they should get hazard pay.

Irene B. Gardner said...

You are soooo right, Leisha. My nose doesn't work all that well, but there's something about the dump air that oozes through the molecules in your skin, in your nose and down your throat. Gag! I can't handle it either.

Well written and fun.



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