Tuesday, September 20, 2011

You've Got What In Your Pants?

My very good friend, Friend A, decided to trim her trees. Now, this sounds like a semi-safe activity. You have the normal dangers: saws, falling branches, allergies to work and tree stuff, and...sweat. But, did you know there are hidden dangers in tree trimming?

Yes there are.

Friend A clipped and sawed, pruned and primped her trees, and the whole time leaves and twigs rained down on her. They pelted her hair, scratched her face, and lodged in her shirt. Yes, down her shirt and into her pants. Have you ever had leafy twigs in your pants? Let's just say, POKEY.

One of these twigs kept stabbing her thigh as Friend A trimmed. She pulled at her pants. Then she pinched at her pants. Then she did a shimmy intended to send the offending twig down to her toes. Nope. Twigs don't dislodge that easily when they are stuck in your pants.

Determined to finish her trimming, my friend sawed and clipped on. But that darn twig kept poking her. Poking twigs hurt, so she pulled her pant leg up and tried once more to get it out. As she rolled her pants up, she saw the vibrant green of a leaf and yanked it out.

Aha! Success.

Well, partly.

Half of it broke off, leaving the poking part stuck in her pants. And suddenly it poked a lot more. In fact it felt a lot like being bit. Repeatedly.

Friend A looked at the half-leaf in her hand. And. It. Had. Legs. The legs, attached to the half-BODY, kicked and squirmed. And the body part oozed yellow stuff.

Let's just say Friend A screamed. There may have been a fair amount of jumping, too. Then she ran into the house and stripped down. The upper part of the leaf bug still gripped her thigh, biting. Biting. Biting.

There was more screaming.

And some slapping.

And stomping.

And a shower.

And shuddering.

And some heeby jeebies.

And one heck of a good story.

What does this have to do with writing? Well, like in life, a good story has twists and turns and unexpected events. You have to have figurative leaf bugs stuck in your pants--or at least in your character's pants. Think of all the fun you can have imagining up ways to torment your characters. Mwahahahaha.

Now, stop blog surfing and go write!


Jonene Ficklin said...

I'm shuddering right along with Friend A! And I love a story where you're so caught up in the action, that you nearly miss the oozing yellow stuff in your hand, and then the horror hits, and the character in the book becomes you - and you're traumatized and can't stop thinking about it all day. And when the happy ending comes, your life is better. Love that! Thanks for sharing the awesome story! I'm going to be thinking about it all day.

Cherie said...

It may take awhile for me to recover from the trauma. Who know leaf bugs bite?

Sandy L. Rowland said...

I hate leaf bugs! They eat my garden.
Didn't know they could bite skin. Ugh.
I shouldn't admit this, but I did laugh. I could see me reacting the same way. Stripping, screaming,near death experience.

Thank you for the enjoyable diversion. I'm going to write now.

marne' siggard said...

I was sitting on the floor reading this post and a bug ran across the floor right by my leg and i jumped about three feet! lol thanks for giving me the jeebies. hope friend A recovers soon. I am off to plot what horrors await my characters ha ha evil chuckle. ;)

Crystal Collier said...

I shudder at the thought. Of course, living in Florida I'd assume that burning sensation came from any number or variety of ant/s that haunt my front yard. (There are only between 5 and 15 varieties.)

Oh, and I'm giving you the Liebster blog award. Yay! Eat some cheese eh?

LeishaMaw said...

Jonene, I saw a leaf bug the other day and shuddered all over again.

Cherie, I guess getting ripped in half will make even friendly bugs angry.

Sandy, I laughed, too. He he he.

Marne', man that bug had good timing. Evil chuckle right back at you.

Crystal, thanks! And 15 kinds of ants. Ewww.


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