Tuesday, May 31, 2011

How To Kill An Alien

Right now I am on a plane headed for Hawaii, but just to prove how much I love you guys I did the unthinkable and wrote this post ahead of time. Shocking I know. :)

Anywho, a few nights ago the dream goblin came to visit. Here is how it went down:

Kid D dreamed that one of her first grade acquaintances stabbed my hubby to death. Kid D ended up in bed with us. I don't think she likes this killer boy very much. Come to think of it, I'm not so hot on him either.

Hubby dreamed that the cats pooped all over the clean clothes.

I dreamed that six inches of snow fell overnight and killed all my tomatoes. The horror! Then I dreamed that aliens invaded the planet, and I somehow ended up correcting the eye witnesses' grammar and punctuation while the government officials debriefed them. I kept saying over and over, "Just use simple past tense and get rid of your passive verbs!"

Yeah, go ahead and laugh it up. It may sound kind of whacked, but guess how we defeated the alien invasion? Yup. We action verbed them to death. (And yes, I just used verb as a verb. I can do that, I'm a writer.) Passive verbs turned out to be an evil plague sent in advance by the aliens to weaken us and make us susceptible to domination. But we stopped them with words like stalked and talked and exploded. As in we stalked them, talked to them, and then exploded their brains with action verbs. Mwahahahahaha!

So, now you know how to kill an alien. I realize this is dangerous information, but I trust you to use your action verbs wisely. I'm pretty sure the government will set up special verb safety courses now, kind of like gun safety courses and drivers ed. Maybe they'll even teach it in schools. He he.

Anywho, as far as dreams go, Kid D must be afraid of death, Hubby must be afraid of cat poop, and I must be afraid of snow and passive verbs, because I'm sure as heck not afraid of aliens. Kapow!

What are you afraid of? What strange twists do your dreams take to express these fears? And do you ever dream about verbs. or is it just me?

6 comments:

Jonene Ficklin said...

Ha ha! Can't say I've dreamed of verbs. However, I, too, am afraid of snow on Memorial Day. There's something just terribly wrong about it! Have a great time in Hawaii!

Carolyn V said...

LOL! Awesome (scary) dreams. I dreamed about driving to Logan last week with my crit group. What does that mean? I have no idea.

Jolene Perry said...

I just did a post a few days ago about a dream I had where my edits came back and they wanted every thought and dialogue to be less than 140 characters - because yanno, it works for twitter ;)

L.T. Elliot said...

LOL! I freaking LOVE that dream! I can't remember last night's dream but a while ago, I dreamed that I blow-dried my hair for 6 hours and it wouldn't dry. Stupid hair.

Julie Daines said...

Sounds like something out of Thursday Next novel. :)

LeishaMaw said...

Jonene, there is something wrong with snow on Memorial Day. The snow. All wrong. Shudder.

Carolyn, Logan? Hmmmm, no idea either. Dreams are so bizarre.

Jolene, lol. That would be a hard rewrite. :)

L.T., six hours? Wow, were you exhausted when you woke up?

Julie, I loved Thursday Next. :)

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