Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I've Been Robbed and How The Universe Failed To Keep Me Away From Small Children

I've been robbed. Really. It happened at my house. While I was home. My whole family was there, the kids sleeping in their beds, hubby and I tucked in as well. The thief broke in and pilfered from us--right under our noses. Door locks couldn't keep him out, not even our attack cat could deter this guy. I mean look at our cat, he's a major deterrent.


But even Krinky the Fang didn't stop this thief. And the crook took something precious from me.

An hour of sleep.

I can hear you out there wondering and worrying and rattling your dead bolts just to be safe, but it's too late. He's been to your house, too. He slipped past your attack cats and stole your hour the same night he took mine. Yup. Daylight Savings Time. May he rot in a dank prison for eternity for what he has done. If you catch him, show no mercy.

And to top it all off, the universe doesn't want me to talk to children. It's true. How do I know? Well, it told me so when I went with a writer friend to speak to an elementary class about writing and art. I'm telling you, nothing boosts your confidence like the universe asking you to please be quiet. I mean really, I started my presentation and got about three sentences in when the fire alarm went off. Yup. That's when you know that you should go home and stumble back into bed. But I did get to stand in a muddy soccer field for several minutes, so it wasn't a complete bust.

AND I got back at the universe. I'm like a ninja that way because we spoke to the kids anyway. And they liked it. Really. I know this because they opted to give up some of their recess to hear more about art. Okay, that may have had more to do with my friend giving them an awesome art lesson than with me showing them a few pictures and telling them they could work magic with only a pencil and an eraser. But still, I got me some ninja skills.

So take that, Universe. And Daylight Savings Time, be warned, I'm looking for you.

16 comments:

Carolyn V said...

Ugh! I know how you feel! That stinkin' day light savings!

LeishaMaw said...

Carolyn, I know! Grrrr.

Jonene Ficklin said...

Daylight Savings Time beware - if Leisha's a ninja, I'm very, very scared. And those children thought you were the bees knees! Smart kids! (Not much beats the magic in a pencil and eraser.)

LeishaMaw said...

Jonene, be afraid. Be very afraid. Mwahahahahahaha.

The Stanley's said...

If you find DST I'll hold him down for you!

You do have ninja qualities.

Elena Solodow said...

Take that!

Your cat is just resting his eyes for a moment so he can be ultra-prepared to attack.

LeishaMaw said...

The Stanley's, deal. We'll be two black-masked ninja women. Hi-ya!

Elana, he rests his eyes a lot. Does this mean he's extra prepared?

Susan Kaye Quinn said...

LOL! That's awesome - your ninja skills, not the universe's dirty tricks. :) And go you, for talking with the kids!

Stacy Henrie said...

Love your outlook! And yes, I am so not a fan of daylight savings either. Can we just put it to a vote? There have to be more people who don't like then do, right?

LeishaMaw said...

Susan, it was a lot of fun. The kids, not the other. ;)

Stacy, you'd sure think. I know how I'd vote. :)

nikkimantyla said...

You have such a great voice in your posts! I love the opening of this about the cat and everything. Well put, my friend. He is indeed a thief in the night. We've had a very hard time waking up every morning since, and the baby's nap schedule still hasn't recovered.

LeishaMaw said...

Nikki, thanks so much. :) It does take forever to adjust. Good luck with the nap schedule.

Cherie said...

I had a much harder time with the theft this year than usual. In fact, I think I determined that I cook dinner at the same time all year. On time (according to the clock) for half of it, and one hour late for the other half.

LeishaMaw said...

Cherie, the clock is wrong for the other half of the year, so you're all good. :)

L.T. Elliot said...

Daylight savings? We're not friends. Wishing you much better luck than me.

LeishaMaw said...

L.T., Daylight Savings and me are NOT friends either. Grrrrr.

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