I'm bitter. Literally. When I lick my lips, they're bitter. When I stick my finger in my mouth, it's bitter. And don't look at me like that, all of us, at one time or another, stick a finger in our mouths. It's normal. It's just, most of us don't write about it and stick it on the Internet. So, anyway, I'm bitter.
It started a couple of weeks ago. At first, I thought I had hairspray on my hands and face, so I washed myself. It didn't help, so I washed myself again. Still no better.
I went to my husband and told him I was bitter. It went something like this.
Me: I'm bitter.
Hubby: I'm sorry.
Me: No. I mean, I'm bitter.
Hubby: At what?
Me: Nothing. I'm saying, I am literally bitter.
Hubby, looking at me with much scepticism: Okay?
Me, holding out my hand: Here, taste me.
Hubby, staring at me like I'd lost it. (This happens a lot.): You want me to taste your finger?
Me: Yeah. I'm bitter.
Hubby: That's gross.
Me: You kiss me. Is that gross, too?
Hubby: You're serious, aren't you?
Me: Yes. I'm bitter. Taste.
Hubby, putting my finger in his mouth and making a face: Yuck. You are bitter. What's wrong with you?
Me: I don't know. So many things.
Anywho, I now have a good idea of why I am bitter. It's all the dried pie cherries I've been eating. I think. Maybe. At least, if I lay off them for a few days the bitterness decreases, and I taste almost normal. But then, I eat some more. Why? I don't know. It's like I can't stop myself. Maybe I just want to be bitter. What would Freud say about that?