Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Spiders And Other Poisonous Habits

A couple of nights ago I sat down on the couch with Kids A and D to read, chat, and watch for my hubby to come home. It was relaxing until Kid A saw a spider on the couch.

I told her to kill it.

Being a brave young woman, she got some tissue and bent in for the death strike. Then she paused and calmly said, "Mom, it's a Black Widow."



We all vacated the couch in a speedy manner--a very speedy manner.

I told Kid A not to kill it. Some jobs you just can't have a kid do, and poisonous spider slaying calls for adult action. And something more deadly than a tissue. I grabbed the hairspray (yes, hairspray) and doused the intruder with it. Several times. You try escaping (or attacking someone) when your whole body is covered in hardening glue.

Needless to say, the evil interloper didn't take kindly to her full-body drenching and tried to crawl behind the couch. Kid A yanked it (the couch not the spider) away from the wall, and I reapplied the hairspray. Then I did it again several more times. We poked the spider into a mason jar with a pencil, sealed the jar, and put it on the front porch for disposal.

I'm still a little freaked about sitting on the couch. I may have to move every stick of furniture in the house, vacuum under/in/around them all with one hand on the vacuum and the other on the hairspray, and then shower (again) just to get the heebie jeebies to leave me alone.

What does this have to do with writing? A whole heck of a lot. All of us have spiders lurking in our pages or hiding as bad habits. It could be procrastination hanging out on the couch waiting to sink its fangs into you. Or it might be over-confidence and pride that keeps you from heading back to your manuscript for another round of revisions. It may even be doubt that builds its sticky web and entangles you before you can get going.

All of these, and so many more, are camouflaged against our writing couches. If we don't search them out with hairspray in hand, they will bite us. Ouch.

What spiders are you going to pursue and kill today? I'm going searching for distractions, and boy will they be sorry. Will you be a spider slayer today? Enjoy the hunt.

21 comments:

Carolyn V. said...

Oh, I hate black widows!

I need to work on my procrastination. It's time I overcome that. =)

Hermana Maw said...

Carolyn, me too--on both accounts, the procrastination and the spiders. Do you want to use my hairspray?

Donea Lee said...

I would have had the exact same reaction, and would have used hairspray, too - lol! But, I love the analogy - I think I'm off to slay self-doubt today and do some revising. Love the new look of your blog, btw ~ :)

Jonene Ficklin said...

That's downright evil invasion! I mean, it's bad enough on the wall or floor. But on your couch. While you're sitting there. With your children!!! I'm still quivering for you. Nice tie-in to writing. I'm pulling out my hairspray right now.

Hermana Maw said...

Donea, I use hairspray to kill lots of creepy crawlies. Bees do not like it at all. But then again, I don't like bees so it seems fair. Thanks btw. :)

Jonene, yes, on my couch. Ick, double ick, and ug.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

I think I need a shower after just reading this! *shivers*

I love the way you tied it so perfectly to writing! :-)

Jolene Perry said...

HA! We may have bears and moose but no poisonous insects live in Alaska. It is twenty below zero though...

Mary E Campbell said...

Heebie jeebies is right - I wouldn't want to sit down again either. Procrastination and self doubt are my big toxic habits.

Anonymous said...

A spider landed ON me the other day while I was sitting at my computer. I freaked the heck out. And then killed with a ruthlessness that would have made Genghis Khan pleased.

Smart analogy, that. I'm going to beat my writing-spider into the ground today. And smoosh its guts.

Hermana Maw said...

Shannon, and some bug spray. :)

Jolene, shiver! That is too, too cold for me! But at least you don't have spiders.

Mary, mine, too. They are so hard to kill, too. Ug.

L.T., creepy. I really, really don't like spiders. Smoosh both the real ones and the metaphorical one! :)

Elena Solodow said...

That reminds me: I need some hairspray.

Cherie said...

You are funny! I think the vacuum alone would have done in the poor thing, ;-). That said I would follow through with vacuuming everywhere thoroughly.

Hermana Maw said...

Elena, get the good kind that kills spiders and bad hair days.

Cherie, oh, I will. And I'm not sure the vacuum would have done it it. What if it crawled out and came for revenge? I've seen Arachnophobia.

Patti said...

I can't even imagine that - shudders.

I think I need to go buy some hairspray now.

Tiana Smith said...

Scary! I hate spiders with a passion (I don't really know why ... it makes no sense really.) For my writing, my biggest "spider" is in not thinking I'm good enough. I've written lots, but never sent anything off to agents. I'm taking the dive though, and pretty soon I'm going to query for the first time. Eeek! I think I'd rather take on a spider!

Hermana Maw said...

Patti, I can...now!

Tiana, you can do it! Submitting is scary, and the hardest part is waiting for the answer, but in the end it will be so worth it. Good luck.

Unknown said...

We have Black Widows on our property, but I've never seen one in the house. I'd have freaked! But I love how you tied this story into writing. To answer your question, the spider I slayed today was fear-induced procrastination. I hadn't pulled my WiP out since December, and for whatever reason, I just couldn't get back to work on it...until today. Felt good!

Love your blog. The background is gorgeous. Off to click your follow button!

Hermana Maw said...

Nicole, welcome and thanks! I'm so glad you kicked the procrastination spider's butt today. :)

Lydia Kang said...

Ugh, okay. THat was totally scary. I'm a little arachnophobic.

I mean, a lot arachnophobic.

Anyway, nice metaphor. Sometimes revisions and parts of my first draft scare me like a black widow.

Stacy Henrie said...

One time I freaked out about a spider in the bathroom - I couldn't really see it without my glasses, but it looked big. My DH came to kill it and didn't tell me until later that it was a black widow!

I think my spiders would be the "doubting" or "discouragement" variety. But I can fight back! :)

Hermana Maw said...

Lydia, my first draft always scares me. :)

Stacy, I'm so glad we can all fight back. Death to the spiders! :)

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