Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Flashlights, Washing Machines, Sinking Ships, and Perfect Storms.

Last night I went on a lovely boat ride on a vast and swift river. The clear water lapped at the ship's sides then began to fill the ship's belly. Fast. People began to fill the life boats even faster. I began to wrap my computer in about 900 layers of plastic and Duct Tape to protect it from the rising water. Hubby logged on the ship's Internet to check the sport scores. Yup, we have priorities.

Things were going well, after all I had my water tight computer taped to my back, hubby had his sport scores, and we could both swim. Then Kid D sloshed into the scene and announced in her six-year-old lisp that there were no more life jackets.

Kid D can't swim.

I panicked and woke up just before the ship went under. I then lay in bed from four to six trying to do a major rewrite on my dream to include a life jacket for my youngest, or figure out how to swim with both her and my laptop in my arms. Somehow it never occurred to me to try to edit out the flood or not have Kid D on board the doomed vessel. Because why would you remove such a nice plot twist? In the end, I left the computer because, like I said, I have priorities. I did attach a beacon buoy and a pink floaty to it so I could come back and retrieve it.

It's been a few months since I had a flood dream. It's also been a few months since our last washing machine catastrophe. I'm beginning to thing the two are linked because, you guessed it, we had a real flood last night. Thanks so much to the cosmic laundry Carma guy or whatever governs these things. Here are the main points to keep in mind during this story:

1: We just finished remodeling our basement.

2: We have a history of washing machine disasters. (Click here in case you missed the other link)

3: We just finished remodeling our basement.

4: Unlike the boat dream, the washing machine wasn't something you get to wake up from.

5: Did I mention that we just finished a remodel of our basement?

Here are the main facts:

1: Flashlights, even smallish ones, are not good items to place in your washing machine. Especially when they get stuck and jam up the whole monster. It's bad. Very bad.

2: Having about three batches worth of denim pants piled into the same batch by overly helpful children is also bad. So very very bad.

3: Having about five times the correct amount of laundry soap is also bad. And bubbly.

4: Walking down into your newly remodeled basement to find water and suds EVERYWHERE is beyond bad. In fact, it makes you cry. A lot. And maybe think bad words. And use a lot of towels. And cry.

So anyway, there you have the perfect storm of dreams and laundry conditions. Can you guess what I'll be doing today? Writing about it of course. Yup, I have priorities. :)

16 comments:

The Stanley's said...

Perfect connection! Way to turn it into an entertaining experience.
(sorry you flooded though!!)

Jonene Ficklin said...

Oh no, not your new basement! I'm so sorry!

Oh, but the dream was awesome - and later revisions - especially the pink floaty attached to the beacon buoy!

Carolyn V. said...

That is a scary dream! I'm sorry about the basement, that would be awful. (hugs)

Jolene Perry said...

Okay, that was hysterical. Sucky, but hysterical.

Cherie said...

Hopefully the basement didn't suffer too much damage. Interesting, that all of your rescue kid D solutions left out the option of you dh swimming with her, lol. Maybe you have subconscious issues about choosing between kids and writing.

Hermana Maw said...

Anita, I am, too. :( But it all turned out okay in the end. And, hey, the floor under my washer and dryer is clean and shiny.

Jonene, every beloved computer set adrift in a river needs a pink floaty.

Carolyn, thanks for the hug! I'm feeling much better about the dousing today. That might have to do with the lack of water on my floor. Hmmm. :)

Jolene, thanks! I aim to turn almost every sucky event in my life into a comedy. Laughing is much better than sobbing. Most of the time. :)

Cherie, very interesting observation. Here I thought it was that I was a better swimmer. Hmmm LOL.

Anonymous said...

I think floods are one of the worst things to happen. Fires aren't great either but floods? =P

I'm so sorry about the new basement getting flooded. Praying for good things for you. You've been on my mind all weekend. I should email you.

Hermana Maw said...

L.T., thanks. We are almost all dry now and the piles of wet laundry are almost done. Yea! You should e-mail me. :)

Cindy Beck, author said...

I have to say that even though you had a catastrophe, you made it sound soooo funny. Sorry about the flood, but it made for a fun time for me reading about it! :)

Oh ... and thanks for stopping by my blog and reading, "Giblets Roasting on an Open Fire." Glad it made you laugh amidst all the bubbles and suds in your house!

Hermana Maw said...

CL Beck, your story did make me laugh. Thanks for the smiles. :)

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

this post is simply hilarious. and perfect. I can totally relate to the whole dream sequence thing. So sorry about your new basement! Did you save it?

Hermana Maw said...

Tamara, we did indeed save the basement, and the washing machine. Just some minor damage and lots of wet towels. Thanks for reading. :)

The Huffies said...

hahaha, i love the way you dream - it cracks me up! Sorry about the water disaster...glad it was minor!!

Hermana Maw said...

Carol, dreaming is fun...most of the time. I'm glad it was minor, too. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow - lots of us were mopping water in the basement. It wasn't a full moon was it? :P Glad it's worked out ok for ya!

Hermana Maw said...

Aine, were you cleaning up a flood, too? Did I miss something?

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